We can experience irrational fear around anything, relationships, animals, religion, our children and lots more. In fact sometimes our fears can be focused on seemingly small and silly reasons. Irrational fear can take hold and paralyze us and if it left to grow unchecked it can and does lead to depression.
The good news is that most irrational fears can be overcome with the minimum of effort on our part as long as we are committed to mastering them. Below is a very powerful 3 step guide to combating most irrational fears.
THE THREE STEP PLAN TO OVERCOME IRRATIONAL FEARS
STEP 1 – Analyze The Fear – Where, Who, When & How
Can it harm you in any way? When did you first start to feel it? What happened to promote this fear? Do other people suffer from it? Is it a smoke screen for another fear? What’s the worst that can happen?
a. Get a pad and paper and write down how old you were when you first felt this fear. Can you associate the fear with an occasion, person or place? If so look at the fear you felt then and write it down, think about why you felt so afraid, what could have been the worst thing that happened and could it still happen now?
b. If this fear is associated with a normal human action or involvement such as relationships, success or being on your own look at where this fear came from, write down all the descriptive words you associate if this fear actually happened to you. Are the descriptive words actually what would happen in reality?
c. Is this fear the actual one that’s scaring you? For example; someone may state they are afraid to get close to people as they are scared of being hurt, however their real fear might be that they are scared the other person won’t like them, they are really scared that they are unlovable and unlikable.
Another example is that someone may state they are scared of flying however when the fear is analysed they are actually scared of not being in control (i.e being out-of-control).
Whatever the outcome spend time actually focusing on what is behind the fear, where the real ‘heart’ of it is, and above all be honest with yourself, looking at the fear cannot harm you in any way, quite the opposite it could help to free you from it.
STEP 2 – Empowering Visualization – A Very Powerful Tool
A very powerful tool for combating all types of fear, including some types of phobia, is empowering visualisation. Many psychologists advocate the use of visualization as a tool for helping people suffering from anxiety, irrational fears and phobias.
a. Sit comfortably in a room and in a position you feel safe and comfortable in, spend a minute or two simply relaxing focusing on your breathing.
b. Picture a friendly and safe scene with your imagination, see your close friends and the ones you love in the scene, picture them being really happy to see you.
c. Now picture the thing your afraid of actually happening but instead of seeing yourself afraid see yourself beaming with love and radiant with power. See yourself glow with the very power of the universe flowing through you, visualize your self laughing and brimming over with majestic confidence as the fear happens to you. Now visualize yourself walking towards your friends, focus on their love for you, see how proud they are of you, tell each one you love them and see yourself walk off into the scene with them and leaving the fear behind you as if it is nothing. (Repeat daily for around 10 minutes).
N.B. The above visualisation practice is an example only, you might find one that suits you better.
STEP 3 – Easy Does It But Do It!
a. Start to confront your fear in small steps, give yourself 2-3 goals to achieve per day that brings you closer to experiencing and mastering your fear. (As per your visualisation – confident, safe and happy).
b. Keep a goal achievement diary and write down at night how you confronted or moved towards confronting your fear that day. Never stay stagnant, if you’re not moving forwards you’re moving backwards. Push yourself, you will find you are a lot braver and stronger than you give yourself credit for. Never put yourself in physical danger.
c. Write a success plan of highlighting all areas of your life that will improve once you have overcome this fear. List all the improvements, freedoms and write down a description of how you see yourself once you have mastered this fear.